The Not So Perfect Murder(Mini Series part 2)

Katherine:So chris what were you doing at molly,s house?
Chris:Well i was there having lunch when suddenly this black person walked through the door an shot her
Katherine:O i see what where you guys eating for lunch?
Chris:Sandwiches
Katherine:Then how come we found no sandwiches huh?
Chris:Because we ate them
Katherine:Ahhhh how convient
Chris:Well what do you do with sandwiches?
Katherine:I eat them
Chris:Ah Ha How convient
Katherine:Im the cop here ok dont play mind games see
Chris:Who,s playing mind games?
Katherine:I told you im the cop see look at my badge*shows badge*
Chris:Ummm thats a not a police badge thats a voucher for 20cents shake'n bake
Katherine:O shit.......if i have the voucher that means i traded my police badge in for a donut
Chris:Can i have a donut
Katherine:Sure........amelia give him a donut
Amelia:*Burns cigarrete in chris,s eye*
Chris:..........ahhhh FUCK!!!
Katherine:Well we should go back an talk to mukissa and wait till the skin grows back on chris,s eyeball
*In the other interview room*
Katherine:The other suspect has dobbed you in
Mukissa:What?
Katherine:We have the gun........we have the witness your going away for a very long time, Unless there is something your not telling me
Mukissa:Ok well i kinda lied about the tea we had sandwiches and after we had eaten them me an molly got into an argument.......and then i swear that other guy barged through the door whilst we were in the middle of the argument an shot her
Katherine:Intresting......well i can say this case is pretty much closed
*Outside the interview room*
Katherine:Officer Bricks i have solved the case
Officer Bricks:Really who did it?
Katherine:Well the baker took my police badge
Officer Bricks:What?
Katherine:O no i solved another case.the case of my missing badge
Officer Bricks:Intresting, Im sorry katherine but it has become apparent to me that your...........and IDIOT
Katherine:OFFICERS ARESST OFFICER BRICKS
Oficcer Rob:Yes Ma'm*Arrests Bricks*
Officer Bricks:What thise makes no sense why am i being arrested under what charges?
Katherine:Under the charge that you helped the killer
Officer Bricks:Your insane
Katherine:Maybe............but maybe we all are insane and this world is just a marble in a sack of other marbles with a little kid playing with us every so often and one day our marble might brake
Officer Bricks:...i really hate you as soon as i get out of this mess im going to find somebody to re-assighn you to a job in the north pole
Katherine:Cool then i can meet santa
Amelia:Katherine..........santa dosent exist
Katherine:Y...yes he does*eyes get teary*
Amelia:No i mean he does but he exists in the sout pole
Katherine:O ok then............well we better get back to the case lets go back to chris
*In the interview room*
Katherine:There is oustanding evidence against you still ........do you have something you want to add to your case?
Chris:Well 0k ok this is the truth alright i am molly,s neighbour i never had lunch with her, I just heard all these gun shots an then ...seing as my middle name is danger..Chris Danger Marshall i decided to investigate and then i saw this black figure standing over the body
Katherine:Why didnt you tell us this before?
Chris:I was scared.......that you wouldnt belive me
Katherine:Its ok now......it was very smart of you to tell me the truth now amelia could you actually give him a donut i think hes deserved it
Amelia:*Burns Ciggarette in both chris,s eye,s*
Katherine:Ya know i meant an actual donut
Amelia:Oooooo i always get confused
To be continued real soon.......

The Not So Perfect Murder(Mini Series part 1)

Officer Bricks:So what do we have kenedy
Officer Kenedy:Well we have one dead body a 9mm handgun with the bullet chamber empty and 5bullet shells on the ground......this is a tough one i think we need to call Detective Kahtherine even though she sure doesnt do things by the book
*At the Murder Scene*
Officer Bricks:Detective Katherine, Im glad you could make it ....you have read the report i assume well tell me what you think happend here
Katherine:Well judging by the chalk outline on the ground i would say somebody drew an outilne of somebody on the floor
Officer Bricks:No thats the outline of the person who was murderd
Katherine:Ahhhh i see.well judging by the outline i would say the person who outlined the body............dosent write with chalk often
Officer Bricks:No thats not what i meant .........you see the person who drew this isnt important
Katherine:Well i couldnt even tell this was a chalk outline of a person i thought it was a cat or something i mean its so short.....I want the person who drew this to be arrested because its a poor drawing
Officer Bricks:Errr ok
Katherine:Well judging by this drawing i would have to assume that the person was shot an insignificant in life, What was this persons name?
Officer Bricks:Her name was molly
Katherine:Well if i was as short as this person was and had a stupid name like molly i would kill myself
Officer Bricks:As i was told from what you have read in the report you know that the gun was found the chamber empty and 5bullet shells
Katherine:Yes yes...........I GOT it.................this case is UNSOLVABLE!!!
Officer Bricks:But ummmm you havent even gone to interrogate our two suspects
Katherine:Ahhh yes the suspects how are they?
Officer Bricks:They are fine but......err shouldnt you go talk to them
Katherine:Yes i wil so take me to the police station
*At the station*
Katherine:So your mukissa huh?
Mukissa:Yep
Katherine:Well are you going to confess?
Mukissa:Ummm no
Katherine:How about if i give you five dollars
Mukissa:No
Katherine:Please?
Mukissa:No
Katherine:You shoulda played ball, I didnt want it to come to this..........but Officer Bricks bring in the Muscle
*A small figure enters the room*
Mukissa:Am i supposed to be scared?
Katherine:Meet amelia my muscle
Amelia:Good Afternoon
Mukissa:Hey how are ya?
Amelia:What where you doing at the crime scene?
Mukissa:Molly had invited me over for tea
Amelia:Really then how come no traces of tea or tea related substances werent found?
Mukissa:Maybe they were poured down the drain.......or maybe aliens abducted the tea because they wanted to study earth,s tea
Katherine:Intresting i would like to hear more of this alien theory
Mukissa:Your an idiot
Amelia:Listen i want anwsers an i want them now or else i will have to resort to violence
Mukissa:O no the garden gnome will bash me
Amelia:You have done it now......*puts on wrestlers outfit*...*headbuts mukissa*
Mukissa:Intresting..............my nose appears to be BROKEN OW FUCK
Amelia:You want more?
Mukissa:Welll not really but i dont have any more information except chris killed him i was having tea with molly and he barged through the door, An he pulled out his gun an shot molly five times
Katherine:Well mukissa we have no further questions for you right now but you just stay here.......is there a drink i can get you?
Mukissa:Ummmm Sprite Zero it gives me maximum perfomance at minimual sugar
*in the other interrogation room*
Katherine:So your chris huh
Chris:Yep
Katherine:So do you want me to get you anything to dri...DID YOU DO IT?
Chris:Ye..NO, Hey how often does that trick work?
To be continued.........really soon

Big Brother(Final Episode)

Man with british Akcent:Welcome viewers this is the final episode in the big brother series.......

*in the lounge room*
Paul:One of us is going to walk away richer today
Alexia:I hope its me
Molly:I HOPE ITs......
Hannah:*pushes molly down*.....ME ME ME
Paul:This house is a boring fuck hole it sucks
*This is big brother today is your last day in the house an to start the day off we have an EVICITON but this eviction will be done like a prevouis one it will be done in a running race..........one lap around the pool*
Molly:I better pump these small legs of mine
Alexia:This will be easy im fast like the Road Runner MEEP!
Hannah:I better not fall over
Paul:Shutup
*Ready set go*
*5minutes later*
Alexia:MEEP MEEEP MEEEP!!!!! yes i did it i did it
Paul:I knew id win with that klutz and molly how could i loose
Molly:Hey at least i beat hannah
Hannah:I hate friggin fallin down so much ..i need new legs, hmmm maybe when katherine is sleeping i can chop them off and use them as my own...yes sounds like a plan
*This is big brother looks like hannah has to leave the house*
Hannah:Good luck to all of you*falls down and rolls out door*
*This is big brother this im sorry but the next eviction is taking place right now...........and this eviction will be dont by normal NOMINATIONS!!!!! PROCEED to the diary room*
*In the diary room*
Alexia:MEEP MEEP MEEP!!! paul because hs swears to much
*next*
Paul:Alexia keeps making me feel unnatractive with her being more attractive than me so yeh
*next*
Molly:Just say next already...
*Molly i normally wouldnt do this but we need your vote so you have to vote now*
Molly:O golly WOOO i get to vote..o ok ok ok im going to vote out MOLLY no wait sorry just a bit excited i want to vote out paul because he keeps staring at my breasts
*Ok then.*
*This is big brother sorry paul you have been evicted you must leave the house in one second*
Paul:You stupid fuckheads*leaves house*
Alexia:Looks like its down to me an you
Molly:Sure does look that way
*This is big brother the final eliminations are going to take place this is how they will be done all the former housemates are going to vote for the housemate they want to win the housemate with the highest number of votes will be the winner of big brother........and BEGIN*
Mukissa:I vote for alexia well just cause molly really needs to have a shower she just smells that bad
*Thats 1-vote molly, 0-votes alexia*
Chris:Im going to vote for alexia cause she got great knockers...and IM STILL DRUNK!!!
*Thats 1-votemolly,1-vote alexia*
Roy:Well Molly is a very great fan of the simpsons so yeah i vote molly
*Thats 1-vote molly, 2-vote alexia*
Kristy:Im going to vote for molly because even through everything she has put up she has come this far
*Thats 2-vote molly,2-vote alexia*
Lennox:Im going to vote for alexia cause she is a hectic mad dancer like me
*Thats 2-vote molly,3-vote alexia*
Muzukisi:Im voting for molly cause she is short like me an i know how hard life is for short people
*Thats 3-vote molly,3-vote alexia*
Katherine:Im going to vote for alexia because small people dont deserve to love they just get in the way of taller people
*Thats 3-vote molly, 4-vote alexia*
Hannah:I think i will vote for alexia cause she dosent smell as bad as molly
*Thats 3-vote molly, 5-vote alexia*
Paul:Im going to vote for alexia cause........well she has larger breasts so iv noticed(insert winking emoticon here)
*Thats 3-votes molly, 6-votes alexia*
Samah:Well i think molly should win cause i feel sorry for her cause she wishes her girlfriend was hot like me
*Thats 4-votes molly, 6-votes alexia*
Ali & Blake:We have both decided to vote for mariah carey
*But that dosent make any sense*
Ali & Blake:Shutup or we will smash you
*Thats 4-votes molly, 6-votes alexia, 1-vote mariah carey*
Diana:Im going to vote for molly
*WHAT I THOUGHT YOU COULDNT SPEAK ENGLISH*
Diana: I never said that
*Smart as mutha fu......*
*Thats 5-votes molly, 6-votes alexia, 1-vote mariah carey*
Man with british akcent:Well looks like the votes are tallies and the offical winner of big brother is MO-OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
Digested bowel of fruit:Hey i have been digested and i just came here today to vote for molly because she was so kind to me and she made me overcome my phobia of talking to people
*Thats 6-votes molly, 6 votes alexia, 1-vote mariah carey.........we are at a tie, To break this tie we are going to call upon one of the housemates that has already voted to do another vote...an this housemate is Blake*
Blake:Well i heard molly was listening to a mriah carey song last week so im voting for molly then............
Man with british akcent:Its Finale Moll is thew Winner of big brother...we proudly present molly with her prize a 2$ gift voucher at Go-Lo
Molly:I went through all that shit for 2$?..............
The End...

Big Brother(Episode 11)

Man with british akcent:Its getting stressful folks......and big brother has another deadly double eviction for tonight......who will go, Lets find out
*In the bathroom*
Katherine:IM GETTING SO FUCKING ANNOYED I ASKED BIG BROTHER FOR A HIGHER SHOWER HEAD AND STILL NOTHING
Paul:Katherine SHUTUP!
Katherine:Shutup little man......Ill crush you
Hannah:Awwww poor wittle pauly misses diana
Alexia:Hannah thats slack
Hannah:O sorry
Alexia:Nobody loves you....nobody loves you....NOBODY LOVES YOU*points to paul an his "manly haircut"
Molly:Do you mind if i ask you ....why do you shower with that pink bikini on samah?
Samah:Well due to the callaberation of the pink with my skin it makes me look extremly attractive
Molly:Intresting........
Bowel of Fruit:..............
Alexia:Have any of you noticed that ummm the only one actually taking a shower in here is.......samah
Paul:Shhhhh im tryna perve
Hannah:*slips on soap an falls down*
Molly:So bowel of fruit you up for another game of chess?
Bowel of Fruit:...........
Samah:Molly i am so sick of you talking to THAT THING ITS JUST A BOWEL OF FRUIT FOR GODS SAKE!!!!
Molly:Its my friend
Samah:NO ITS NOT LOOK ILL SHOW YOU*eats bowel of fruit*
Molly:.....you just ate my only friend*cries*
*This is big brother..........samah because you have eaten another housemate you must leave the big brother house.......your are evicted......and as even more of a punishment you must wear your pink bikini and walk out slowly an sexually*
Samah:I hate all of you.........*leaves house slowly an sexually*
Alexia:An then there were 4
Molly:Hannah will you be my friend?
Hannah:No molly*pushes molly over*
Alexia:I will be your friend molly
Molly:So you Ch-Cho-cho-cho-Choose me?
Alexia:Errr yeh sure meep
Paul:Your all dumb fuckheads
Hannah:What is your problem
Paul:You stupid idiot
Katherine:Listen short stuff stop being mean to my friends or i will destroy you
Paul:Woah BFGWA
Katherine:What does that mean?
Paul Big friendly giant with attitude
Katherine:You are so going down
Paul:*runs into bedroom*
Katherine:*Hits head on door frame*
Molly:I dont want to sound slack........but i think you are getting to tall for this
Katherine:I hate this house...........*cries*
Alexia:You wanna talk about it?
Katherine:I think im going to ask big brother if i can leave
Alexia:Katherine i advise you do that..staying here will just hurt your self-esteem
*10mins later*
*This is big brother katherine has requested to leave the big brother house..........that is all*
Alexia:YESSSS I DID IT!!!!
Hannah:Did what?
Alexia:Welll ya know katherine was always favoured by the rest of the housemates......so i suggested she leave an in her state she thought it was best for her
Hannah:Thats slack
Alexia:Im in it to win it
Hannah:What makes you think now that i know this i wont try an get you evicted?
Alexia:I dont care cause im sure the others would vote for me
*This is big brother...their will be no eviction tonight...tomorow will be your final day in the house.....one of you shall walk away with the lot and the losers will walk away with ZERO!! .....prepare yourself goodnight*

Man with British Akcent:Well folks its almost over the whole gig is going to come down to our final episode...........this will be the biggest episode ever

Big Brother(Episode 10)

Man with British Akcent:Hello chaps before we go to the big brother house today, I have decided to do an interview with the other evictees, First up Mukissa
*In the Ghetto*
Man with British Akcent:Hello mukissa how have things been going ever since the eviction?
Mukissa:O man there where these wack cats with .44s an they tried to pop me cause i was on big bruddah but i pumped em so full of lead they will be makin pencils for a week
Man with British Akcent:Thats very nice, I dont understand you but that sounds nice....now lets see what lennox has been up to
*In the Studio*
Lennox:Well man with british akcent i was noticed on tv an ever since then the producers sighned me up to produce another you got served me called U GOT SERVED....AGAIN.......an all it costed me was my entire life savings, But i have a feeling this movie will be just as popular was the last
Man with British Akcent:.....Is that a good thing.......ahhh well moving along to our next evictee Diana
*At diana,s house*
Diana:Spanyan tacosalsaburrito
Man with British Akcent:Errrr yeh*runs away*......anyway time to see chris
*At the Pub*
Chris:Oh yeh mayte jono pass the VB
Man with British Akcent:So i guess you hit the bottle pretty hard chris ever since your eviction
Chris:YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.........*passes out*
Man with British Akcent:Now its time to see the lovley Ali and Blake team...since the show they have opend there own shop......ALL ABOUT MARIAH
*In the crappy shop*
Man With British Akcent:So how has the shop been going?
Blake:Not to well...business has been slow
Ali:Stupid people must all like crap music
Man with British Akcent:Is it possible that maybe you just like crap music
Ali:No its not
Man with British Akcent:Ummm why not?
Ali & Blake:Because we are ali and blake and we are right
Man with british akcent:Well ummmmm but what if
Blake:*Beats up man with british akcent*
Man with british akcent:Ok well.....*coughs up blood*......back to the house*

*In the Lounge room*
Paul:*Drools*......ehhhhhhh
Kristy:Your just an idiot paul
Hannah:Get it through your head kristy you aint ninja and im serouis......*falls down*
Paul:SHUTUP
Samah:Dont ya wish ya girlfriend was hot like me.......Dont ya wish girlfriend was black like me.....dont ya wish.......
Roy:On THE SIMPSONS THERE WAS THIS HOT GIRL ONCE
Kristy:You find cartoon charaters attractive?
Roy:Well it was just this one time....and i only got a slight erection
Alexia:MEEP MEEP!!!!*runs out of room*
Katherine:Can you guys all shut up im trying to fit through the doorway an its really hard when you guys are all yellling
Molly:CHECK MATE
Bowel of Fruit:...............
Samah:Stop playing chess with the bowel of fruit
Paul:Goddamit my manly haircut has made me 1%less attractive
Hannah:Arhhhh this house is so boring
Roy:Yeh i wish we could watch the simpsons
Samah:I wish you would shut your NOSE
Hannah:Yeah Roy!!!
Roy:Geeeez your all on pms arent they alexia?
Alexia:IDIOT!!!..........
*This is big brother today will be a double eviction..to the diary room now*
Roy:Im going to vote out hannah cause i think they are going to ambush me an throw tampons at me
*next*
Samah:Im going to vote out roy cause he is such an idiot.....hey big brother can i ask you something?
*yes*
Samah:Dont cha wish ya girlfriend was hot like me........
*Shutup samah.........next*
Hannah:Im going to vote out roy he is just so annoying
*next*
Katherine:Im going to vote out kristy just cause......well i want her QUEEN SIZED BED!!!!
*next*
Alexia:Meep.....im going to vote out kristy cause she keeps talking about how ninja she is
*next*
Paul:Im going to vote out molly cause she makes me feel unnatractive
*next*
Molly:Im going to vote out that bowel of fruit because....your not going to count my vote are you?
*....NO*
Bowel of Fruit:...........
*This is big brother........the two people that have been evicted are ROY and Kristy.........*
Roy:Well Now i can go home an watch some simpsons at least
Kristy:You guys are so un-ninja
*Leaves house*
Man with British Akcent:Its getting smaller chaps we are nearing the end of the big brother series tune in next time

Big Brother(episode 9)

Roy:Ah this house is getting boring my bogan buddy left ...
Hannah:Roy shhh
Roy:Whats your problem?
Hannah:Nothing you just imply we arent fun
Roy:Fucking hell hannnah you have sand in your vagina
Hannah:Shut the fuck up roy you annoying dickhead
Roy:PMS!!!!!
Muzukisi:OoOoOooOo IZ ON now
Paul:SHUTUP MUZUKISI!!!
Kristy:Why be slack to him for?
*This is big brother, Tonight we are having the tuesday night games...the chosen event for this game is a running contest.....the top two fastest runner,s will go to the rewards room and the person to come last im sorry to announce will be eliminated from the big brother house....now you will find some loose fitting cloths in the diary room*
Samah:What the fuck is this big brother its just a bloody Extra small sized hot pink bikini!!!
Alexia:Cool i have trackies......
Muzukisi:Me to
Molly:Hey guys how do my trackies look?
Alexia:Ummmm molly you are wearing a dog suit
Roy:This brings me back to that time in simpson episode 324# when bart had lost a belching contest and furthermore......
Paul:SHUTUP!!!
Diana:Spenyano mantos!!!!*hits paul*
Kristy*puts on ninja outfit*....awww shit i bet i look totally kick as ninja
Hannah:Ahhh yeah sure you dont look half as cool as me*puts on sexy
lingerie*
Paul:Diana i through out your outfit so here take these ones that i took the pleasure of making
Diana:Sptros?!
Katherine:Paul isnt that just 3pieces of paper tied with with pasta?
Paul:Its called a three paper piece outfit geeeez its the latest style
*This is big brother everyone go outside you will now see that i have turned the area into a running field, First up paul will be running....the 2 best times will win....an the slowest time will have to be evicted*
Paul:Ok time to smash this race*runs*....................
*Your time was 45seconds....next up diana*
Diana:Spanayna yoces petros yastrapoitiy*runs*.......
*Your time was 1:05......next*
Muzukisi:(Ok ok just imagine as if the cops are chasing you).......*runs*
*Your time was 50seconds...next*
Roy:(Ok just think im running home to catch the last episode of the simpsons).........
*Your time was 47seconds....next*
Hannah:Ok time to win this.....*falls down*........*runs*
*Your time was 3:20*
Katherine:.....Man i got long legs i will crush my compatition*runs*
*Your time was 2:05...next*
Kristy:(Think back to your ninja training).....*runs*
*Your time was 3:25.....next*
Alexia:(Just think as if paul was trying to pick me up at a bar)......*runs*
*Your time is 2:48....next*
Molly:(I will murder them....murder them all that will show them...oh i mean yeh the race)...*runs*
*Your time was 1:43...next*
Samah:(Yeah i am so much hotter than diana...no wait oh damn the race)..*runs very slowly an sexually*
*Your time was 3:00...next*
Bowel Of Fruit:............
*Your time was 1:01*
Molly:But thats impossible a fruit bowel cant run....it makes no sense
*This is big brother...shut up molly*
*This is big brother Im sorry kristy but you came last....but fortunetly for you because someone else cheated in the race you are not going to be evicted the person who cheated was diana using her aero dynamic costume.....im sorry diana you have been evicted*
Diana:YOU MUTHA FUKN IDIOT PAUL, DUMB ASS PIECE OF SHIT GOOD FOR NOTHING CUMB BUCKET.....I TOLD YOU NOT TO GIVE ME THAT FUCKING OUTFIT
Paul:Ummmmmm could you please go back to speaking spanish?
Diana:SHUTUP!!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH!!!!*leaves house*
Muzukisi:Awww i feel sorry for paul
Roy:So do i ....i mean she was pretty an all
Paul:What the fuck roy?
Roy:Im just saying she was attractive
Paul:Do you wanna fucking get stabbed in the eye or somethin?
Roy:No i was just.........trying to
Paul:SHUTUP!!!!.........*Punches roy in nose*
Roy:Your a meanie.....*cries*
Kristy:Homan that was close i almost got evicted
Hannah:Hahaha yeah you suck heaps
Kristy:Why be slack for?
Molly:I dont understand any of this..the BOWEL OF FRUIT DIDNT BLOODY MOVE AT ALL DOSENT ANYBODY ELSE CARE???
Samah:*looks in mirror*Man im sexy
Roy:You sure are
Samah:How sexy?
Roy:A lot
Samah:How much is a lot?
Roy:Ummm i dunno
Samah:Why dont you know?
Roy:I shouldnt have ever opend my mouth should i?
Samah:What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
*This is big brother i have a sad announcment but..........we have another eviction tonight..so lets start the voting procces*
Paul:I think everyone is stupid an gay in thise house so i dont give a fuck so im going to vote out myself...
*next*
Roy:I want to vote out paul cause he,s mean
*Cry baby....next*
Hannah:Im going to vote out kristy cause she just thinks she is so coool*falls of chair*
*next*
Kristy:I think hannah is a klutz an its annoyin me
*next*
Samah:Fucking molly all she does is complain an winge!!!! about a bloody bowel of fruit
*next*
Katherine:Im going to vote out hannah cause i think her rapping yesterday was lame
*next*
Alexia:Im going to vote out paul because he misses diana so much i think its better that they are together
*next*
Muzukisi:Im going to vote out roy because his constant references to the simpsons are really strange.....
*next*
Bowel Of Fruit:.........
*errr ummm......next*
Molly:Im just not going to talk.............
*Clever thinking molly*
*This is big brother the votes have been tallied and paul has recived the most votes......but unfortunetly it was another reverse elimination that means .......the person that recived the least votes all throughout the series will be evicted.......goodbye......Muzukisi
Muzukisi:Awwww shit damn .........well bye all*leaves house*

Man with British Akcent:The big brother house is getting smaller an smaller only 9people remaining.......tune in next time for another exciting episode of big brother

Big Brother(episode 8)

*This is big brother its time for the early morning eviction....to the diary room*
Chris:Well im choosing to vote out samah because she takes to fucking long to get ready for bed an its really annoying an the only good thing about her is when she slowly an sexually puts on her bikini
*next*
Roy:Well im voting out muzukisi because well the less guys in this house the more chances for me to SCORE with CHIX BRO!!!
*next*
Diana:Ekpanyano miastos
*.........moving along*
Paul:Alexia because she didnt let me suck her nipple
*next*
Alexia:Because paul is just so god damn pathetic i mean he wanted to suck my nipple who the hell would want to do that?
*next*
Kristy:Well chris because all he does is watch samah undress slowly an sexually its really frustrating me
*next*
Katherine:I want to vote out chris because ...i almost accidently stood on him the other day
*next*
Hannah:Im going to vote out chris because his bad breath....is really disturbing i mean he was brushing his teeth.....an the toothpaste turned black because his breath was so rancid
*next*
Muzukisi:I vote katherine cause her tallness is still making me insacure
*next*
Bowel of Fruit:....................
*aaaanyway..........next*
Molly:NOW PLEASE BIG BROTHER PLEASE PLEASE LET ME VOTE I NEVER GET A CHANCE TO vote ok ok ok wooo i almost always get cut off by you well im going to vote out..........wait your going to say next arent you?....
*YES... next*
Samah:Well im getting sick of molly an that bowel of fruit i mean it cant even talk she is always so bloody obsessed with it its just annoying....!!!!
*This is big brother..............the votes have been tallied and chris im sorry you have been evicted*
Chris:MUTHA FUKA PIECE OF SHIT DICKHEAD COCKSUCKER!!!.......*leaves house*
Roy:Isnt anyone going to look like they care?
Alexia:O i miss him*cries fake tears*
Roy:Those tears look fake
Alexia:How would you know how i feel?
Roy:Well because you put "cries fake tears in an asterix,s just up above"
Alexia:Yessss roy..........
Hannah:Finally now i will have the shower free without some guy with bad breath purving on me
Kristy:This house has lost a lot of ninjanesss
Roy:Just like that time on the simpsons when bart was feeling sad and....
Hannah:*pushes roy out of way*......so kristy who do you think will get evicted first you or me?......well i think i will outlast you because i have massive sex appeal*falls down*
Kristy:Why say that for?.......just cause i dont dress like a skank
Hannah:Ummm kristy im wearing baggy trackies with an adidas jacket in XL size
Kristy:WELL SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS CANT ALL AFFORD FANCY FRENCH THINGS LIKE "Adidas"
Hannah:Its not french
Muzukisi:OoOooOoO iz on now.....LETS SETTLE THIS IN A RAP BATTLE!!!*puts on black music*
Kristy:Nah hannah is a loooser shes a bloody boozer she cant handle her alcohoal or my rymes because in this house i rap in perfect time
Muzukisi:Awwww shit
Hannah:Well at least i have a watch the can tell the time an yo rymes are wack how the hell do they stay in time, they so wack its like you aint even tryna be black
Kristy:Man what the hell was that, I dont need to try to be black, My rymes aint wack they more black than your entire funeral closet, my rymes are so tight they make your tight jeans look loose, awww shit now take that an REWIND IT BACK!!!
Hannah:Well ok, Check dis out, Yo im the tightest rapper since tupac, Im even much more black, Your rymes sound like childrens nursery rymes...
Paul:Hey both of you............SHUTUP!!!!
Diana:Chrestaynao menyas!!!*hits paul*
Katherine:Paul behave or ill crush you with my pinkie finger
Samah:Im taking offense to what just happend that is not how all black people solve problems an further more
Paul:SHUTUP!!!
Katherine:*crushes paul with pinkie finger*
Molly:So bowel of fruit how has your time been in the house?
Bowel of Fruit:................
Samah:Why are you always talking to that bowel of fruit
Man with British Akcent:Ok well the house seems to be having some conflict, But we are down to our last 8 housmates.......what else could happen?

Big Brother(Episode 7 Late night Edition)

Man with british Akcent:Welcome to the late night edition of big brother this is just a quick peek to see how the housemates are doing
*in the bedroom*
Hannah:zzzzzz*wetting bed*zzzzzz
Molly:......so bowel of fruit how are you?
Bowel of Fruit:...........
Kristy:Molly are you talking to the bowel of fruit again?
Molly:Nooooooo*shifty eyes*
Katherine:IM SO BLOODY TIRED BUT I CANT GET TO BED CAUSE THIS BED IS TO SMALL.......
Muzukisi:zzzzzzzzzzzz
Diana:Sprteylo bustyanas?
Paul:Ummmmm so can we have sex now?
Diana:Septro meyos!!!
Paul:ahhhh SHUTUP!!!
Chris:Samah why havent you gotten into bed its 1:00am
Samah:I have to look my best before i go to bed
Chris:Wa?
Samah:I have to dress to extreme persexction
Chris:Right.....................
Roy:Mmmmmm
Muzukisi:What chu doing?
Roy:Writing letters to tell the producers of the simpsons
Muzukisi:I see
Kristy:Alexia this place sure is getting a lot quiter isnt it?
Alexia:Yeah i know what you mean thats why i put these picture of jonny depp naked on my wall so i can have somebody to talk to at night
Kristy:UMMMMmmmmm sureeeee...........
Molly:Who wants to play cards?
Hannah*falls of bed an wakes up*......HEY HEY NO I DID NOT HAVE A WET DREAM STOP ACCUSING ME!!!!
Chris: o k then..........anyway well molly im up for cards
Molly:O sorry chris the bowel of fruit already asked to play me in blackjack
Chris:.......oooo fine then
Muzukisi:Katherine may i ask you something?
Katherine:Ye sure?
Muzukisi:Are you like some kinda of space mutant from outer space?(no offense or anything)
Katherine:.........no im not
Muzukisi:Uh ha..mmmm ok are you sure?
*This is big brother tonight we are going to randomly kill one of you..........Hahahaha just kidding you guys all SHAT IT THOUGH DIDNT CHA!!!! YOU WERE SCARED!!!!!! ....*
Kristy:Why try an scare us for?
*This is big brother with some bad news...........tomorow morning there will be an eviciton........FIRST THING in the morning that is have a good nights sleep.......but keep in mind it could BE YOUR LAST(in the big brother house)*
Man with british akcent:An that councludes tonights short episode good night.......and stay tuned for the next exciting episode

Big brother(episode 6)

Man with british akcent:Today we will see the house after the shock eviction of mukissa
*in the lounge room*
Lennox:Now......mukissa is gone
Muzukisi:Whats wrong lennox?
Lennox:People keep leaving.....its so hurtful, and i just wish i had my camel.....
Kristy:Lennox stop sniveling mukissa wouldnt want you this way
Lennox:I cant take this house anymore..........*bursts into tears*
*This is big brother....tonight is movie night we are going to watch one movie .......out of these choices, everybody to the lounge room to vote, the choices are........Cruel Intentions, The Matrix, The history of boxes an box related accesories, Willi Wonka an the Choclate Factory, Star wars III, U got served, The Bfg(big friendly giant), and The Ring, Now ....i have changed the rules so molly must make the decision wich movie to watch......and everybody else you cannot say anything until she has made her choice*
Molly:Ohhhh ummm well........i remember ali,s favourite movie was the history of boxes or was it cruel intentions.........god they are so similar with their great plotline an star cast.....hmmmm welll oh wait star wars......ewww more like nerd wars, willi wonka well alexia said jonny depp wasnt hot in that one so nah..........an u got served well it just reminds me of mukissa to much...so i will stick with the history of boxes
*Ok the movie will be on shortly the rest of you housemates may comment*
Chris:Molly......i want to kill you
Roy:Yeah just like that time on the simpsons
Alexia:Shutup roy this is important its like.......arhhh IT DOSENT MATTER THAT HE WASNT THAT HOT HES STILL HOT!!!
Ali:What the fuck skank? who cares its only willi wonka .......we dont get to see how hot RYAN PHILLIP IS??!!!!
Blake:Geeez calm down ali dont have an orgasm
Samah:An why didnt you watch you got served huh???!!!! typical big brother gives us more attractive people less privlages
Katherine:....I wish we coulda seen the bfg its a nice story about a friendly giant just like me
Hannah:*falls down*
Zenia:Why cant we all leave molly alone because we all need to realise there are no ugly people only.......etc
Kristy:Why always say that same thing for?
Muzukisi:Mmmmmmmmm
Diana:Trcko pestroy pestmanyanoitreska
Paul:SHUTUP!!!!...........I DONT WANNA WATCH ANY MOVIE THATS NOT DIANA NAKED............*bunch of idiots.....oh crap i said the thinking part loud and the loud part thinking*
*3hours later.........an thats the history of boxes*
Ali:Dammit i have run outta songs to dedicate to blake
Blake:You better fuckn find some more you dumb slut
Kristy:You shouldnt call ali a slut you know
Blake:Or else what kristy huh huh YOU THINK YOU GOING TO BE A NINJA AN FLIP OUT.......ha know cause your a pathetic dog.......lay down like the dog you are
Ali:Kristy just leave us alone
Kristy:YOU BITCH i was tryna help
*in the pool area*
Chris:Im not a yob ya know samah
Samah:Sure you arent
Chris:No im a very charming person once you get to know me*burps*
Samah:Well im going to put my pink bikini on very slowly an sexually you can watch if you want
Chris:Dont mind if a do!!
*In the lounge room*
Paul:Please can i see your boobs?
Diana:NISPENYANO!!!!!!!
Paul:What if i give you this much money........*pulls out pocket lint*
Alexia:Paul you are such a sleaze
Paul:I know im sorry alexia.........please forgive me
Alexia:Oh alright
Paul:Can i have a hug?
Alexia:*hugs paul*
Paul*hugs alexia*hey alexia while im hugging you i was wondering since we are out of milk may i suck on your nipple for just like a minute
Alexia:........*slowly backs away*
*In the bed room*
Hannah:With mukissa gone i get to wet the bed all to myself
Katherine:Is that a good thing?
Hannah:Hehehehhehe yep
Molly:Ummmm guys the bowel of fruit is on my bed..
Bowel of Fruit:.............
Hannah:SooOoOoO?
Molly:Ummmm it has no legs so how did it move?
Bowel of Fruit:.............
Katherine:Ahhh who cares
Hannah:That is a puzzlment
*This is big brother we have a shock announcment one housmate has asked to leave the house...........this housemate is...............LENNOX!!...everybody to the lounge room*
Lennox:Im sorry guys just with mukissa gone an ......my camel back home i cant take this pressure anymore im sorry i have to leave
Kristy:Lennox you are weak
Lennox:*leaves house*
Ali:Poor lennox
Blake:Ali stop pretendin to care about lennox leaving an start dedicating more mariah carey songs to me
*This is big brother...........the female eviction is going to start right now........and with 2 twists only the males can vote and the other twist will be revealed later*
*in the diary room*
Muzukisi:Mmmm i think im going to vote out katherine because she is still making me insecure about my height
*next*
Chris:I vote out ali for sure because ........well she dosent have a hot pink bikini
*next*
Roy:I vote out ali cause this one time on the simpsons.......
*...shutup roy*
Blake:Im going to vote out ZENIA cause all her friendship an ugly people rubbish is so annoying i just wanna throw her out the window into a bin then then throw the bin into the river then throw the river into outer space
*This is big brother the votes have been tallied an unfortunetly ali you have been evicted...........and the twist is that its a double eviction an since its a tie between katherine an zenia to see who goes we are going to have to play a very challenging an fair game to see who gets voted out..if your name is zenia you must leave the house*
Katherine:Well my name is katherine
Zenia:An my name is zenia..........no wait oh shit goddamit these brainbusters
*Zenia and ali please exit the house an since blake n ali are counted as one person that means all three of you have to leave*
Blake:Fuck your so stupid ali............*leaves house*
Zenia:World PEACE*LEAVES HOUSE*
Ali:Woop*leaves house*

Man with british akcent:We are getting closer an closer to the final episode with 3 people evicted tonight this is truly a shocker with only 7people remainig and a bowel of fruit this is going to get X-treme

Big Brother(episode 5)

A man with a british Akcent: Today we will find out who the intruders are....now back to the house
*This is big brother......welcome the intruder............a BOWEL OF FRUIT!!!*
Alexia:What?
Ali:Woop?
Molly:Yay now i will have somebody to talk to
Muzukisi:Molly if you are that desperate ill talk to you
Molly:Awwww thanks....ummm by the way muzukisi would ummm i dunno after this big brother thing is over.....wanna go for coffee sometime?
Muzukisi:Ummmm i have the 1meter rule sorry, You must be over a meter to go out with me
Molly:Its ok i totally understand........*cries*
Chris:This is bloody gay mate
Blake:Excuse me?
Chris:Ummmmm it was roy
Blake:*Punches roy in nose*
Roy:Do'h why did you do that chris..........
Chris:Because im bored.........
Bowel of Fruit:................
Lennox:You dont talk much ay?
Bowel of Fruit:.............
Lennox:I know i know my cactus didnt use to talk, But then i ate these pills that i found on the floor an now we have lenghty coversations
Diana:Crosto yesmanta relstrosas
Paul:SHUTUP!!!
Zenia:EVERYONE we should all make the fruit feel welcome into the big brother house because he might be shy an not talk
Bowel of Fruit:....
Samah:Hey.............honestly bowel of fruit ummmm who is the hottest one in the house its me right?
Bowel of Fruit:.................
Samah:What the fuck is that supposed to mean
Bowel of Fruit:......
Samah:Fuck you you BITCH dont ever fucking talk to me again
Bowel of Fruit:........................
Katherine:Hey hannah
Hannah:Yess?
Katherine:Can i tell you something?
Hannah:Yep
Katherine:Im concernd about my height i was wondering maybe im not sure in the future they might make the door frames to small an i wont be able to walk through them
Hannah:Katherine you have nothing to be concernd about*falls down*
*This is big brother we must finish the nominations from before(the fruit does not get to nominate because its his first day)
*next*
Samah:Well hannah because her falling down is really annoying
*next*
Chris:Well i think ali because her large penis is making me insercure about my sexuality
*next*
Blake:Molly because she still SMELLS LIKE PISS an i cant talk about people,s secrets with ali if i keep getting whiffs of it
*next*
Alexia:I vote for ummm muzukisi because i mean we should only really have one black person
*next*
Lennox:I vote for zenia because she is really annoying .....an she made fun of my cactus
*next*
Zenia:Big brother i dont want to vote cause its unfair an i dont think we should have to because of the following reasons 1: Nobody owns us we arent tools we should all be given an equal chance an say...2:
*NEXT NEXT*
Ali:I vote for.......
*We all know your going to vote for samah*
*next*
Blake:I vote for.....ali because her fucking massive boobs make it hard to hug her
*You do realise you an her are counted as one person*
Blake:Ye so?
*..................*
*next*
Katherine:Im voting out ali cause she just like dislikes people for no reason an i think its really stupid
*next*
Roy:I vote out blake because he looks the least like a charachter from the simpsons
*next*
Paul:Diana cause her spanish is such a turn off .....
*next*
Diana:Spanyana manyos lestarotamenatya
*...err ok*
Hannah:Ummmmmm kristy cause she isnt as cool as she thinks she is
*thats all for tonight*
Molly:What about me
*sorry molly times up*
Molly:..........*cries*
*This is big brother i have talleyd up the votes.........an ali n blake you have the most votes............but you are not evicted because of tonights twist the person with the least votes is saying goodbye................Say goodbye mukissa*
Mukissa:You are fucking joking
Muzukisi:Oh no i can already feel the blackness dissapearing
Kristy:Mukissa man........
Blake:Oh well least it wasnt us
Ali:Wooop go US!
Samah:Ahh well mukissa wasnt attractive anyway
Hannah:Oh my god.........now i have a WHOLE BED TO WET TO MYSELF!!!
Lennox:Check on my camel man
Zenia:Remember mukissa there are no ugly people
Mukissa:Shutup please zenia
Alexia:Ciao Kid
Diana:Sianara
Paul:Bye
Chris:Bi.......................Sexual
Roy:Record the simpsons for me while im still here please i dont wanna miss a thing
Katherine:See ya shorty
Molly:Bye...........*cries*
Bowel of Fruit:.................
Mukissa:Goodbye guys..............
*Leaves big brother house*
*An to prepeare yourselves tomorow, It will be a girl only eviction so you can only nominate girls...........that is all*
Man with british akcent:Oh my god what a shock mukissa one of the most beloved people in the big brother series has been eliminated.....i wonder how the house will handle this ..tune in tomorow for the Celebration i mean errr next episode